My Husband is a Nurse and I’m Scared
My husband has been a dedicated nurse for 17 years. Never in his career has he faced the life and death safety issues he now confronts every single day when he walks into the hospital to report for work.
Every day he is, as a friend who also works in healthcare describes it, playing ‘Virus Roulette’ because healthcare workers everywhere are working without the proper personal protective equipment (PPE) and protective measures in place.
My husband is a nurse and I’m scared — petrified, in fact. I’m scared he will go to work, contract the virus and be the unlucky one who does not make it through. At the age of 54, he is healthy, but he is not a superhero immune to the illness, nor are any of his coworkers. I am scared he will bring it home to me and I will get sick and die. I am scared he will bring it home to our children, both teenagers, who will get sick and die. I am scared he will give it to his aging parents who are in the at-risk category. This is ONE nurse, in ONE family. Across the country, there are hundreds of thousands of nurses, doctors, respiratory therapists, physical therapists, and other healthcare workers who are being unnecessarily put at risk during this crisis.
Everywhere, everyone is preaching — Stay Home, Social Distancing, Flatten the Curve. Why isn’t anyone screaming that these wonderful people trying to do their jobs are spiking the curve? Unprotected, they are bringing the virus home to their families who in turn go to the grocery store for supplies, and those people then take it home to their families. In addition, any patient entering a hospital for a non-coronavirus related reason is also at risk because that friendly nurse coming to assist you may have likely been exposed to the virus due to lack of appropriate PPE. So yes, we are all doing our part to flatten the curve, but there are gaping holes in our healthcare system through which the virus and all our efforts to stop it are pouring out.
My husband signed up to be a nurse to care for people, but not at the risk of his health or his family’s health. We are calling healthcare workers heroes and soldiers in this fight against COVID-19, but they are being sent into battle without weapons or armor. Healthcare workers are only asking for — screaming for the proper protection so that they may do their jobs safely — for everyone involved. They are not asking to be excused from their duties but rather asking to continue to perform their jobs knowing they are supported and protected by their employers and by extension, our Country. If our doctors, nurses and other healthcare workers all get sick or die, NO ONE will be there to take care of us or our loved ones.
My husband and his colleagues feel strongly that they have already been exposed to the illness due to the lack of preparedness on the part of hospital administration. This same scenario is playing out in hospitals throughout the country and it is only getting worse day by day. Meanwhile, healthcare workers are waiting for the virus to either hit them, their families or those they work alongside. My husband wonders if each day when he walks into the hospital will it be the dreadful day the viral load becomes too much and it will be his turn to get sick and possibly die? Will he walk into work tomorrow to find one of his coworkers is on a ventilator? It’s all a crapshoot — Virus Roulette
He came home last night and when I reached to give him a hug and kiss hello, he pulled back, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he said even though he had already changed out of his scrubs before leaving the hospital. He proceeded to immediately take a shower and throw his street clothes into the laundry. His face is etched with worry as he and his coworker exchange war stories, and strategies for keeping themselves safe. He anxiously reads and watches the news, seeing the stories of unprepared hospitals unfold in other states reaching capacities and healthcare workers doing their best to fight the war — like bringing a knife to a gunfight.
The other day, my husband felt compelled to reach out to the physician director of his hospital unit to express his discomfort in treating patients without the proper PPE, and in turn for reaching out, he was reprimanded by his supervisor. At every turn, healthcare workers are being told to hush — don’t speak out, keep your head down, and keep doing what you’re doing. They are turning to private Facebook groups to discuss the situation. They are afraid of speaking out for fear of losing their jobs. They are concerned about themselves, their patients, their families. They are concerned about everyone and carrying this heavy weight alone. Since when have we become a Country who punishes people with the loss of their jobs if they bring up legitimate health and safety concerns? We need to find a way to support these people if we expect our healthcare system to support us during this pandemic crisis.
Healthcare workers are dealing with:
- Sharing, wiping down or reusing N95 masks because there are not enough to go around.
- The use of surgical masks rather than N95 masks is resource-driven rather than safety-driven.
- No direction, communication, or culpability from upper hospital management along with misinformation.
- Scarcity of adequate PPE
- The current hospital environment is creating a cesspool of coronavirus
Healthcare workers immediately need:
Appropriate Personal Protective Equipment (PPE)
- N95s — as regular surgical masks do not provide sufficient airborne protection from the virus.
- Gowns
- Protective Face Shields
Hospital Executives
- Reach out on worker’s behalf to secure the proper PPE
- Provide a supportive environment for healthcare workers rather than threatening job loss when legitimate safety issues are broached.
- Hazard Pay — some hospitals are hiring temporary nurses at double the rate of their regular employees. Offer current healthcare workers hazard pay for working under duress.
- Information — keep staff informed of the ever-changing situation and steps they are taking to address health and safety concerns.
My husband and I have had somber discussions about our wishes should either of us die due to the virus. We have discussed him leaving his job, at the loss of half of our needed income. We have discussed him making a stand with his employer and his union at the risk of losing his job. He feels drawn to help, to do his job and not abandon his co-workers nor the patients who depend upon him. In NJ we are awaiting the storm. In the next three weeks, we are expecting hospitals to be overflowing with patients. My husband is bracing for the influx of patients at the hospital. He has already been reassigned to other areas of the hospital to assist with the crisis.
Yes, my husband signed up to be a nurse — to care for and protect others — he did not sign up to do his job at the risk of his health, safety, and sanity and that of his family’s. Our healthcare workers are not expendable.
